Talking one type of horseshit and then promptly doing other kinds of horse-shitty things

I'm a forgetful person, which is not like an excuse or anything of that sort, I just would want to present facts as they are. 

I'm also an idealist when it comes to other people. I conveniently forget, a favorite personality quirk of mine, this idealism when I'm involved in doing things. 

So when I inconveniently remember that I forgot to apply in my own life the idealistic horseshit I dished out for other people's benefit, denial is a knee-jerk reaction followed by crippling shame that, in a twist of plot, acts as a growth hormone for my ego and so in order to salvage what's left of my dignity I must stop.