The disappearing act.

I've surrendered my future to God
to do as he pleases
the present I have to bear with
still.

I left myself many notes along the years
in classmate notebooks and cheap letter pads
and I haven't read them
because I can't find the things
I bought yesterday.

I give up trying to get through
the day
covering up the hole in my heart
where rot and decay
is working their way
up and into everything else
that's bare inside me.

I promise to purchase another
cheap paper pad into
which I pour all my truths,
deceits and any other random twitches
to forget them safely
for rats
to make a tidy meal.